Your funniest jokes

[Sephiroth]

Alright, lemme start first :)



Birthday

Husband: Hey, isn't it almost your birthday?
Wife: Yes?
Husband: Where would you like to go for your birthday?
Wife: uhm..... hehe, some place i haven't been to in a long time.
Husband: How about the kitchen?

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Lottery

Husband: Sweetheart, what would you do if we won the lottery?
Wife: ehhm.. hehe, i'd take half of the prize money and divorce you? Hehehe.
Husband: Good. We've won $30. Here's $15. Now get lost.


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[scorpionnet]

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

[Paraflier]

Why do brides wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the stove. ;)

[THUMBS]

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

[Bond1130]

Five Important Qualities
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

[Paraflier]

Why do mermaids wear seashell bras?

Cause they can't fit in D-shells!

Wakka wakka!