Uplay services in general affected
Every time an Xbox Live service alert is posted, a little ritual takes place at OXM Towers. Step (1) A large, bronzed, half-naked man strikes a gong with one of our Saints-Row-branded dildo bats. Then, Jonty leads a solemn procession to Microsoft's Soho offices, where an offering is made of merchandise and hamsters. Subsequently: fires are seen on the heights of Mount Doom, and all the cupboard doors within 50 miles flap open and closed mysteriously. Then I sit down and write a news story about it. Here's the need-to-know.
The latest service alert applies to both Xbox 360 and Xbox One. "Having some trouble playing FIFA 14 on the Xbox One?" reads a post on the status page, which was last updated at 9.51 GMT (around an hour ago). "Our team is investigating the issue right now. Thanks for hanging in there while we work. Another update is coming your way in half an hour."
You may also have "trouble using the Uplay feature on games like Watch Dogs, Trials Fusion, Child of Light, and Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag". Microsoft is "working with our partner to get the issue resolved as quickly as possible". New to Uplay? It's a DRM and networking service that basically serves as a middleman between you and certain online features. Most of the Xbox Livers we talk to aren't very keen on it. The launch of Watch Dogs - Ubisoft's new fastest-selling day one title - appears to have caused considerable disruption for Uplay users.
"Thanks for your patience," the post concludes. "We'll update you on our progress as soon as we have more information." I'll keep you abreast of developments.