Title says it all.
Title says it all.
Set Free The Devil Inside
What a stupid thread T_T Like a this Zen riddle: "What is so cool its hot, when its so hot its cool?"
Not for kids!
A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar. He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suck on your nipples."
She says, "Watch it buddy, I'll have my boyfriend kick your ass."
He laughs and says, "Alright, why don't I just give you a big sloppy kiss then."
She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man kill you."
"This is my final offer", he says, "I'll hold you upside-down, pour beer into your pussy, and drink from it."
She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend, tells him this guy said he was going to lick her tits.
He yells, "I'll kill him!"
She then tells him he was going to kiss her. By now he's pissed and starts walking in his direction.
She says, "Wait! He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour beer down my twat, and drink from me!"
Her boy friend stops and say's "Sorry babe, I can't fuck with anyone who can drink that much beer".
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
"There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?".
or maybe this one:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
or try this one:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson upand said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
oh i got the perfect joke you would like to know what it is yes? Well my joke is theyre making a new modio....BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FAIL
Thanks Original Boss your a beast!
So a man walks into a bar with a giraffe in tow. He sits down to get his drink and the bar tender gives him a funny look asking, "What can I get you?"
The man orders and simple scotch and gets about half way through it when the giraffe suddenly falls over dead. Everyone stops and seems shocked for a moment until the man promptly finishes his drink and pays the tender. He gets up and is about half way out of the bar when the bartender finally shouts, "You can't leave that lyin' there"
The man simply stops, turns, and replies. "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"