There are two muffins in an oven, one muffin says, "wow, it's really hot in here!" the other muffin says, "holy crap! a talking muffin!!!"... This is one of my favorite jokes.
There are two muffins in an oven, one muffin says, "wow, it's really hot in here!" the other muffin says, "holy crap! a talking muffin!!!"... This is one of my favorite jokes.
In no way my favourite but heres a joke.
I don't have a favourite joke....Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".









How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
A Pharmacist joke
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I need some dish bags.”
(Unaware of what dish bags are, I assume she means dish rags.)
Me: “I’m not sure what that is and if we carry it. I would look in the cleaning section.”
Customer: “Well, my doctor said I could get it here.”
Me: “Okay, well I would check that aisle.”
(The customer leaves and returns after a couple minutes.)
Customer: “I didn’t find them!”
Me: “Can you tell me again what it is you need?”
Customer: “Dish bags.”
Me: “And you say your doctor told you to get them here?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry. I’ve never heard of dish bags and I don’t believe I’ve seen anything like that here.”
Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous! What am I going to do?”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, would you like me to ask our pharmacist about them?”
Customer: “Yes!”
(I go get the pharmacist to assist me.)
Pharmacist: “So, what is a dish bag used for?”
Customer: “Jeeze! You clean your lady parts with it!”